Some Things I Learned in 2006

1) No matter how thin you slice it, some men are just scuzzes. Flee such men. Some men are also awesome. Keep those ones. Learning to differentiate between the two -- now that's a growing up thing.

2) Moreover, we're all capable of being just a little bit scuzzy.

3) It is a stupid and artistically stunting idea to direct the same show twice in eight months.

4) It's the friends who will feed you peanut-butter-and-chocolate bunnies and Irish whiskey at three o'clock in the morning after you've been dumped by the love of your life who are the ones that matter.

5) You should never trade long-term happiness for a few cheap kicks.

6) If you've got a dream, you should go for it and worry about its practicality or lack thereof another day.

7) It is a depressing fact of life that there are no 7-11s in the greater metropolitan Atlanta area, and no workable substitute.

8) God really doesn't give a flying damn about chapel veils and the problems of Vatican II; go solve world hunger and fight to end the culture of death, then maybe you'll have time to worry about whether He wants you to wear a doily on your head.

9) Nothing ever works out as planned. Get used to it. What we call curveballs, God calls opportunities for grace.

10) Don't ever bring your cute best friend to any wedding where hot guys potentially are.

11) Mountain Dew Amp is the greatest invention since the wheel.

12) You can love someone a hell of a long time after they're gone.

13) People die, suddenly, frequently, and often. Make sure they always know you love them -- just in case it's the last time you ever get to tell them.

14) Your mother really was right.

15) Teachers do not go home at 3:30 p.m., no matter how easy you in your naivete think their job is. Teachers go home at 10:30 p.m. -- and then work for a few more hours.

16) You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

17) Call home.

18) Credit cards are the devil.

19) Furniture is overrated.

20) Boys are also overrated.

21) Shoe shopping is the greatest therapy the human condition may ever know.

22) Lindsay Lohan is a talentless hack, and she looked better as a redhead.

23) Romances between two people who both work in theater do not bode well for anybody.

24) Eleven hours is not too long a drive for a hug and a homecooked meal.

25) I have accumulated some really scary ex-flames over the past year. I have also accumulated some very cool ones.

26) Do not rekindle old flames unless you're sure you can handle the conflagration.

27) Your high school friends have known you since you were like, fourteen. If you're going to trust anyone's judgment of your character, trust theirs.

28) Keep at least one friend around who tells you the truth when you least want to hear it.

29) Don't text and drive.

30) Stay away from brainless hot jocks.

31) Most decisions made after midnight are stupid ones.

32) Prank calls never, ever, turn out well, particularly when alcohol or ex-boyfriends are involved.

33) Posting everything about your personal life on the internet is asking for trouble.

34) Everyone has dated a Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. If he boils your small pets, run.

35) You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many socks.