Material Girl

Forty-three pairs of shoes and seventy-two pairs of socks. Does anyone, anywhere really need forty-three pairs of shoes and seventy-two pairs of socks? Whatever possessed me in any lifetime to accumulate forty-three pairs of shoes and seventy-two pairs of socks? (In point of fact, I'm actually missing nine pairs of socks since my last official count, which was over six months ago -- I think the dryer gnomes are at work again)

I am fully going to need a U-Haul -- or three -- when I move to Atlanta. Otherwise I'll have to resort to becoming some sort of poseur Franciscan and run around barefoot in a shapeless brown sack, carting all my material possessions around on my back.

Unfortunately, Christendom guys would probably think that was hot.

Oh, and my first credit card payment ever is due on the one-year anniversary of Joe's and my breakup (that is, July 2nd, 2006). No one will convince me that this is not the work of a vast left-wing conspiracy. I mean, seriously. We all know that in the vast configuration of things, I'd much rather lose another few fiances than part with $96 to the Old Navy Corporation when I could be buying a forty-fourth pair of shoes.

For, in the words of the Philosopher, men may come and go, but gold wedge sandals ($9.99 on clearance at the Gap) are forever.

All right, so Aristotle never actually said it, but he would have if he'd thought of it first, dammit.